Funerals – the appreciation of life

I have been to two funerals in the last week, last Friday we went to the funeral of Lois Vernon, a young mother at Bunyan Baptist and on Monday the funeral of Mike Sanderson at All Saints, Milton Keynes Village. They were both very good funerals and celebrations of lives well lived, but they do leave an aftertaste of sadness. It certainly makes you aware of your own mortality and grateful to be alive! Lois’s funeral was especially sad as she leaves a young husband and a five year old son behind, but the service went very well and it was very moving and meaningful. Mike’s funeral had a sense of a longer life but he was still only 66 hardly old in today’s terms! It seemed they both died before their time and still had so much to give to the church and the wider world. I often imagine what my own funeral will be like when I go to funerals, “where will I end up dying? Here or in Nicaragua? Will I get buried or cremated? What will people say about me?” I hope it isn’t for a while yet, but none of us are guaranteed a long life, but at least I have peace about death and I’m not too scared of it as I trust in God’s mercy towards me as shown in Jesus.

I have been struggling with guitar practice recently as I don’t have my weekly classes at present to spur me into action, but yesterday I enjoyed playing and even though I am not very good I had a sense that God was enjoying my playing and that I should play for him if no one else! It is tempting to give up but I will keep playing as being good isn’t the be all and end all and God seems to enjoy my stumbling chords even if no one else does!

I have been reading La Conquista Permanente by Giulio Girardi in Spanish and really enjoying it, I was given the book in 1992 and read it back then but my Spanish wasn’t as good as it is now, so my enjoyment is much greater this time! It is about the Spanish conquest of Latin America and he reflects on how that infects theology even today, it is a provocative but engaging read! We watched the film Patagonia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patagonia_(film) which is about a Welsh speaking part of Argentina and I loved the scenery and hearing Duffy trying to speak in Spanish! It follows a welsh couple who visit Argentina and an old Argentinian woman of Welsh descent and her young neighbour who visit Wales, I loved it but then I love both Wales and Latin America so it was a win win situation for me!

My friend and pastor Dave goes off on his sabbatical tomorrow, must admit I am a bit jealous as I am “due” a sabbatical this autumn as I had my last one in Autumn 2005 and as Baptist ministers we have them every 7 years! Perhaps my first few months in Nicaragua might be like a sabbatical as I get settled in? Being on the dole isn’t quite like a sabbatical although some people might think it is like one!

I got an email from the hospital chaplaincy saying they would be in touch with me next week so still hope on that horizon which is good as my carer job applications seemed to have drawn a blank!

This weekend we have two bank holidays instead of one thanks to the Queen’s jubilee, I am not a monarchist but I do wish her a blessed party and whilst I won’t be wrapping myself in a union jack I may raise a glass and overeat in her name!! Go well and happy jubilee, love Stu x

More disappointments!

I found out this morning that I didn’t get the job for the last interview I went to, which was the one I liked best! They said I interviewed well but that other candidates had experience as carers whereas I didn’t, fair enough,  you can’t argue with that! I do feel a bit disappointed though and on top of Hibs getting thrashed 5-1 by Hearts in the Scottish Cup Final on Saturday life seems full of disappointments at the moment! I still have one more potential iron in the fire as a chaplain in a hospital, but don’t know if that will come to anything, it will all come down to funds available no doubt!

I have had a cold for the past week so feeling a bit miserable all round, but no point in wallowing in too much self pity! I am trying to convince myself here!!

Last week Jodie and I visited my brother near Manchester as we were doing some “baby-sitting” for my nephew who has had an operation on his leg and is only back at school part time. The change of scenery was nice and you always eat well in their house, they shop in Waitrose and use quality ingredients, whereas on the dole it is usually what you can afford! I wasn’t looking forward to getting on the scales this morning but no major damage done which is fair enough really as they do eat healthily! My brother Mike is a Hearts fan so we watched the Scottish Cup Final together on Saturday, my team Hibs got thrashed 5-1 so he obviously enjoyed the game more than me! I know it is only a game but I was really disappointed at Hibs’s performance and even after a lifetime of being disappointed by Hibs it still left me with a feeling of desolation!

Also last week a young mother in the congregation at Bunyan died from her fight against cancer and that leaves all sorts of questions about the unfairness of life etc, so I have taken a bit of a battering in the past week and men with colds are a pain in the neck at the best of times! On the positive side we have seen God at work supplying our needs financially just when we needed it most, so that is faith boosting! It is strange how disappointments and answers to prayer seem to co-exist, God seems to answer some prayers and the bigger ones go unanswered?!

I do trust God in the middle of this but today anyway it all seems a bit cloudy!!! Go well love Stu x

Playing the waiting game!

In my last blog I wrote I got an interview but later that same day I got another and the following day another!!! So 3 interviews in total! Like buses you wait for ages and 3 come at once! I thought I would wait till I heard back from them before writing this blog but that may take a while so I decided to write now, I have received one no but am still waiting to hear back from the other two! The one that said no wasn’t the one I liked the best so there is still hope! It was good experience putting on a suit and being interviewed 3 times and made me feel at least they were interested in me! I think all the interviews went well but the ones I am still waiting to hear from went better, but there is no point in speculating!!! I will do a short blog when I finally hear!

A week past Saturday I got a text whilst still in bed asking me to preach the next day! It was my friend and pastor Dave, he had a stomach bug, I was happy to preach and in Nicaragua they often asked me to preach at the last minute so it didn’t throw me! I think I preached pretty well and it was on the wedding at Cana which I had preached on before, have a listen here http://www.bunyan.org.uk/node/400 It was good to be preaching when during the week I had a real or rather three answers to prayer! I had nearly given up hope of finding a job before we go to Nicaragua in November and then hey presto! That isn’t to say I have got a job but even the fact of getting 3 interviews in the space of 2 days has boosted my self esteem no end!

I went to the dentist last week, first time since back from Nicaragua, no fillings and it was free, being unemployed has some benefits! The dentist was a lovely asian man and it was probably the most joyful dentist experience I have had in my life, it made my day!!!

Last week we had a visit from a BMS action team and we gave the three young people a meal and it was a real joy to talk with these youngsters who have offered a year of their lives to serving God even in these times of student loans and tuition fees. They helped lead the services on Sunday and I saw them as “heroes”, I was reminded of the foo fighters song, Hero,  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqWRaAF6_WY ”There goes my hero, watch him as he goes, there goes my hero, he’s ordinary!”

On Saturday we went to the Baptist Union assembly in London and it was good to hear Tony Campolo speak in the evening, even if I have heard a few of his stories before. It is good to reconnect with my baptist roots and feel part of the wider baptist family. The worship was a bit too performance style for me, but I’m glad I went and it was good to bump into a few people I know.

I have been reading, The wonder of the beyond by David Adam, Prophecy and Mysticism by Mary Grey, The outrageous pursuit of hope by Mary Grey and my latest is “Jesus, an historical approximation” by the Spanish theologian Jose Pagola, it is a very readable approach to getting to know Jesus of Nazareth.

On the music front, I have been enjoying the proclaimers latest Like Comedy and it is good to see the boys can still cut it! http://www.amazon.co.uk/Like-Comedy-2CD-Deluxe-Proclaimers/dp/B007IGO9KG/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1336555009&sr=1-1

On the football front Stevenage Boro are in the play offs and Hibs survived relegation and have the cup final with rivals Hearts to look forward so still things to look forward to and they matter more than whether City or United win the league!

I promise to write another short blog when I hear from the other two interviews, hopefully won’t be too long as the waiting is hard!!!

Go well love and prayers, Stu x