On Saturday we went to a study day at the London School of Theology on Paul the theologian, it was stimulating and well worth the drive into London. Jodie is doing a Theology degree by extension with LST so it was good to accompany her to her theological college. I would like to do a masters at some point but we can’t afford it at the moment but I am keeping the grey cells alive by continuing to read theology and other books. I have just finished The Theology of Dorothee Soelle, a series of articles by friends of hers after her death in 2003. I came across her in the early 90s and always enjoyed her especially as she also was strongly influenced by latin american liberation theology and spent time in Nicaragua. She has some interesting things to say about suffering, theodicy (the big issue of God and the existence of evil and suffering) and mysticism.

On Sunday I preached at Bunyan and Jodie led the service, it went very well and I got good feedback from the congregation. I appreciate having the regular opportunity to preach and it gives the congregation an opportunity to get to know me better too. Unfortunately the sermon isn’t up on the website so I can’t put a link up but if it appears soon I will add the link. I preached on Exodus 3:1-15 and enjoyed wrestling with the passage and asking, who is God? “Who am I for such a task?” - Moses  and who are we? Small questions!!!!

I went along with Dave Morris (my pastor/friend) to the local Herts Baptist ministers meeting and enjoyed the discussion on how we keep fresh theologically post college. I have never found it a problem to keep reading theology post my theology degree but was given some ideas about new books and authors worth exploring. It was also good to share fellowship with fellow baptist ministers and made contacts for future preaching opportunities which is also helpful. I also went with Dave (again!) to the local stevenage ecumenical ministers group for a lunch at a posh farm in the countryside, we had a lovely steak pie with spuds and veg and treacle tart for pudding, yum yum!!! It is strange to think of me wining and dining with the aristocracy but Teddy our host is something like the deputy lord lieutenant of Hertfordshire as well as being an Anglican priest. It was a delicious lunch and a good time of fellowship too even if I didn’t agree with the inevitability of capitalism espoused by most present. Also on the food front we had a lovely chinese take away with Jodie’s parents last night, so even though I didn’t put on much weight over Christmas this week may see me putting on a few pounds!!! It didn’t look good on the scales this morning but maybe the haggis and other food is still hanging around in my gut!

To finish on a high, I went to see my local team Stevenage Boro play MK Dons, my old home team on Tuesday night and the new beat the old 4-2! It was a cracker of a game to take Melvin, Jodie’s dad to as he hadn’t been to a live game for decades. I still have a soft spot for MK Dons and keep an eye out for their results but Stevenage Boro have taken their third place in my heart behind Hibs (1st) and Arsenal (2nd). Stevenage is home for now even if only till November but it will be a base for the foreseeable and the home of my sending Church, Bunyan Baptist.

No news on the jobsearch front, but am managing to keep busy with pastoral visits, reading, studying and enjoying my first year of marriage! Go well, Love Stu x

Speaking of economics this week is much better than last week when I blogged when we had to do a weekly shop for £16! A friend must have taken pity on me whilst reading my blog and sent us a very generous donation. I do believe the Lord provides but it is usually through other people and I give thanks to God and my generous friend! We didn’t need to count the pennies in the same way this week as we shopped in Tescos today but we still watched what we bought and we always try to be good stewards of what God gives us. How people on benefits can afford to eat and pay the bills I just don’t know, fortunately we are blessed to have friends who support us and God hasn’t let us down yet!

Life is a strange mixture of highs of lows, we have had plenty to be grateful for this week including the above but it feels like wrestling with God at times (the passage for Sunday at church  was Genesis 32:22-32) also as the jobsearch seems so hopeless at the moment! Signing on is a depressing experience every two weeks and although the staff are only doing their job and are mostly very nice, the job centre has a depressive and oppressive spirit to it and I am always glad to leave the place! It is a struggle to stay hopeful or optimistic when there are so few jobs and so many looking for them, I am just glad we are going to Nicaragua in November otherwise I would be depressed.

My guitar classes should be starting again soon and I have been faithful to my daily practising even if I had a couple of weeks off over Christmas! My chord changes are beginning to come together ( I know I am slow!!) and I am enjoying playing the guitar even if I will never be a  Jimi Hendrix or even a Billy Bragg! At least I should manage to sing a few songs in Nicaragua, a good mix of worship, love and political songs!

I seem to be reading a fair bit of Marx at the moment, I am presently reading Why Marx was right by Terry Eagleton and am thoroughly enjoying it! Even Newsnight had a discussion panel last night about the crisis of capitalism and what Marxism has to say, it included an interview with Eric Hobsbawm whose book I finished the other week, small world! I wouldn’t call myself a Marxist although I would say I am a socialist, but I do believe Marx still has a lot to say to us today about the nature of capitalism and his early demise was much exaggerated in fact I would say he is due for a revival! I don’t believe socialism or communism is inevitable but I do believe God’s Kingdom is coming and one day will come in all its fullness and that it will look more like socialism than capitalism although it will outshine them both!! Go well love Stu x

With Jodie sick on Christmas eve and Christmas day and me sick on boxing day we had our Christmas meal together late this year on Epiphany 6th Jan! We had turkey and all the trimmings and a homemade Christmas pud! It was delicious and we had a lovely time together at the end of the Christmas season. We are back now into normal eating without chocolates as our daily bread and the couple of pounds I put on have already come off which is good even if I could do with losing a few more! Things are tight this month as they are for many, we did our weekly shop for £16 at Tescos today!

This Monday I spoke at our mens group at church and thoroughly enjoyed that and felt useful for a change! It is good when you can do something you enjoy and are quite good at! Time flies when you are enjoying yourself and the evening went by before I knew it!

On the football front it was good to watch on TV the Manchester derby and see United win 3-2 in a real thriller. I wasn’t too sure about Arsenal bringing Thierry Henry back but who can argue with his glorious supersub return? Scoring the winner towards the end!

Jodie and I went to a free taster for a local community choir that is starting up round the corner from us in our barrio. A bit like Gareth Malone! It was fun but would cost £8 each a week so we decided it was more important that we eat at the moment! It is hard when you can’t afford to do things you would like to do but things could be worse, at least we have a roof over our heads and food on our table (so far!).

Jodie and I were given cinema vouchers at Christmas so we went to see The Iron Lady, I expected to hate the film and to leave it all riled up as I was not and am not exactly a fan of Mrs T’s politics, but I enjoyed the film even if I thought it was a bit light on political context. It showed Maggie warts and all and even made you feel a bit sorry for her something I didn’t know I was capable of! Whether it is ethical to show a still living person in the way it did, showing her suffering the effects of dementia and hallucinating and seeing her dead husband Dennis (I wonder where they got that titbit of info from?). I wonder if she has seen the film? I don’t think history will be kind to her and I still disagree vehemently with most of what she stood for but I saw her as a human being and that can’t be a bad thing!

On the political front, it has been interesting seeing the spat about the independence referendum between David Cameron and Alex Salmond. I am in favour of independence even if I think it is unlikely to win this time around. Not being a resident in Scotland I wouldn’t  be able to vote and am likely to be in Nicaragua come 2014 but I still look with interest to its outcome whatever the final date is and however many questions there are finally on the ballot!

On a lighter note, I have really enjoyed the earthflight series on BBC1, birds are amazing creatures and how can anyone watch a programme like that and not give thanks to the Creator? It is amazing how they get those shots and I sat overawed by it all, how do birds return to exactly the same spot? Whether in Stevenage, Edinburgh or Nicaragua birds point me to their and my creator and give me cause to give thanks for their and our existence, something which isn’t always easy when languishing on the dole and pushed aside as superfluous by the means of production of capitalism (I have been reading a bit of Marx again recently! How to change the world, tales of Marx and marxism by Eric Hobsbawm).

Go well  love Stu x

We visited Jodie’s side of the family at her sister’s on boxing day where I was sick and vomited down their toilet about six times in a row! At least I made it up the stairs and hit the target and didn’t make a mess! After I vomited I felt much better and was OK, not sure if it was something I ate or a bug! It was good to spend time with my new in laws and just chill, watch TV and play board games.

I had a dole interview between Christmas and new year which was a pain as we planned to go pretty much straight up to my brother’s near Manchester en route to Edinburgh, but we did go just a day or two later than planned! It was lovely to see my nephew and niece, Alfie and Lucy and we had some lovely meals with Jo and Mike. When you have lived abroad spending time with family at Christmas isn’t something you take for granted.

We went up to Scotland for Hogmanay and went to the street party in Princes Street, it rained at points but wasn’t too cold and the fireworks were “awesome!”, not a word I often use but warranted in this case! We saw Capercaillie on one of the stages, a good scottish folk band with fiddles etc and they got the crowd in the mood. We didn’t stay out too late and were home by 1am on the free night buses put on by the council. We picked up my parents from the airport on the 1st as they flew back from Malawi after visiting my sister Kirsty for a month. It was good to see my olds and chill with them a bit. On the 2nd in a pub I saw my team Hibs lose 3-1 to their local rivals Hearts, I am used to that over the years seeing hearts beat hibs! We met my cousin Rachel’s newborn Rebecca at a meal with the Ramsay clan and it was good to catch up with that side of the family.

We drove back down on the 3rd on that windy day and stopped off at Holy Island, Lindisfarne, it was blowing a gale but it was worth stopping to visit that Holy Isle and I prayed for our missionary plans for 2012 and felt like God’s wind was at our backs which was good. It was good to share the driving with Jodie and arrive home not too tired

Saw Stevenage Boro beat Tranmere 2-1 on Saturday and enjoyed jumping up and down in celebration at the goals, will my celebration be as boisterous when Christmas day comes?

I went this week to see our nephew Nathan play at his first piano recital and it was fun to see how much he enjoyed the applause and being the centre of attention! The pianists and violinsts were of varying quality but I had a sense of God looking down upon them all with a deep tenderness as they tried and sensing He looks down upon us in a similar way as we practice living whether or not that entails learning to play a musical instrument or not, I like to think He smiles as he sees me struggling on the guitar!

Next year as a church we are reading the Bible in a year which entails reading from selections of the OT and NT for about 15 minutes a day and in 365 days covering the whole thing. I started early and am surprised about how relevant the minor prophets are especially to Nicaragua when it talks about corrupt judges and the greedy rich! I have read the New Testament many times over in English and Spanish but may have missed out bits of the Old Testament so it is good for me to read the whole thing even the boring bits! We are using the New Living Translation in a book format with selections for each day and is being sold for a fiver or free if you can’t afford that!

We were invited round to a Christmas social by a local housegroup at church and had a lovely time and started the Christmas feasting early, lovely moroccan pork and chicken in white sauce and lovely puddings, vanilla cheesecake and raspberry pavlova! I need to watch I don’t put on too much weight over this season as I have been doing quite well recently even losing a few pounds, but they are easier to put on than take back off again!!!

I watched again last week Land and Freedom, the Spanish civil war film by Ken Loach, I have seen it quite a few times before but it still saddens me how the revolution destroyed itself from within before it was defeated from without! Speaking of revolutions I am reading Hugo, the Hugo Chavez story – from mud hut to perpetual revolution by Bart Jones and enjoying it very much! I borrowed it from the library for a small transfer free  of 60p. I have a lot of sympathy towards him and like the writer’s fair portrayal of his life story. I am only just over half way through at the moment but I am still on his side up to this point!

We are going off to a seniors carol service at church now and have to buy some mince pies, so adios and feliz navidad to you all, go well love Stu x

Last week we went to our first meeting of the St Vincent de Paul Society as we plan to do some visiting to people in the community who are lonely or otherwise in need. We do have some spare time at the moment and it is good to use it to help others and Jodie felt drawn to this type of service and then invited me and I felt it would be a good thing to get involved with. It is a Catholic organisation but open to all who share its basic ethos of serving your neighbour in need. We are helping out with the Christmas meal they are running at our local community centre for those on their own on Christmas day. It will certainly be a different Christmas for us but feels the right thing to do and we are going to meet up with the rest of our family over the Christmas and new year period.

I had my last guitar class for the year on Thursday but we are starting up again in late January, we gave Dave Jappy our teacher a gift voucher and a guitar cake and it was lovely to see genuine surprise on his face. It has been and is a struggle but I intend to stick with it over the coming weeks and into the new year.

I now have my street pastors uniform as I picked it up at the street pastors social on Friday and am in the red team and will go out with them in January, it will be cold but the jacket is nice and thick! It feels right to be involved with this ministry even if I won’t be in Stevenage for too long.

On the reading front I have been reading Ascent to love by Ruth Burrows which explores the spirituality of St John of the Cross and The Spirituality of Liberation by Pedro Casaldaliga & Jose Maria Vigil which I read quite a few years back but am enjoying again and I still agree with most of what it says so some things don’t change too much even if my theology and spirituality is in a constant state of change and development I hope!

On Sunday Jodie led and I preached at Bunyan, so team Dennis was in action! I enjoyed preaching and got very positive feedback so that helps me feel that I am at least using my gifts to some extent! The sermon isn’t up on the website yet so I can’t give you a link just yet but will add it if I remember! On Sunday we had a tasty pork roast which I cooked and carved and it came out well with crunchy crackling! It was pretty cheap just over £3 but tasted delicious and cheaper than pork chops! On the food front I bought some stollen from Waitrose and that was delish! Christmas foods are already entering our diet, fortunately I have lost a few pounds in recent weeks so have some spare room!!!! Have a blessed advent as you wait in hope for the coming of Jesus and have a good feast when the 25th eventually arrives!

I needed that day out in London as I had been feeling a bit down and bored with the job situation or lack thereof! I haven’t been depressed as such more just a bit bored and fed up with constant job rejections but feel a bit better now. I have an interview at the job centre this week so we will see what they say to me about my jobsearch! It is hard not to get cynical when there are so few jobs around and lots of people going for each vacancy, but I need to keep plugging away and at least I have Nicaragua on my horizon to keep me going!

Here is something to make you laugh, I pulled a muscle doing housework! It was either cleaning the bath or scrubbing the floor not sure which but it has caused me to go round with a limp for the past week but is getting better! I am just not used to it!!!! But Jodie doesn’t let me get away with murder!

We had good news on the housing benefit front last week as we had been waiting to hear from them for months and it will make things a lot easier, so that is something to be grateful for.

I enjoyed a flying visit back to Milton Keynes last week as I went for a meeting a baptist ministers cell group I am involved in and met up with two good friends of mine, James my catholic priest friend and Colin who is an Anglican Priest based at the well. I didn’t have long with them as I had to be back by the evening in Stevenage for a St Andrews day haggis meal with scottish friends at Bunyan, but it is always a pleasure to visit MK, my old hunting ground! I thoroughly enjoyed the haggis, neeps and tatties in the evening along with the odd malt! A good evening  was had by all as we listened to and tried to guess the artists on a CD of the best of Scottish music! I think I might have narrowly won!

Jodie and I have been starting up swimming again which is good for housework/sports injuries and helps keep depressive moods at bay with the extra endorphins! I find swimming quite meditative and it gives me space to pray and think away from the home environment where we spend too much time at the moment!

I have been filling out CRB forms again as we are getting involved with the St Vincent de Paul society http://www.svp.org.uk/ they do visits to those in need and as we have some spare time at the moment it is good to use it to minister to others. We are planning to work with them on Christmas day to provide a meal for those isolated or on their own that day.

I am surviving if not flourishing but life isn’t too bad and we are still enjoying married life which is a bonus! Go well love Stu x

Having something life giving and hopeful on the horizon makes being unemployed in the present more bearable which is just as well as the job search scenario isn’t looking good at the moment. I didn’t hear back from the post office or Argos about Christmas work and the latest job I have applied for is a vending operator! Not exciting but it would help pay the bills! On that front things are a bit better as we are now getting a couples allowance for Job Seekers but we are still waiting to hear about housing benefit as rent is our major expense in the month. We are just about surviving but it is very tight but at least we live in a country that has some benefits for the unemployed, although I don’t know how people with children cope! I will keep applying for jobs I think I can do but I don’t hold out too much hope at present!

On Saturday we had a brass band charity concert at Church and they made a glorious noise, it isn’t particularly my cup of tea but there is something magic about live music and the sheer force of the wind instruments without any microphones was a wonder to behold! I was a little disappointed they didn’t play the hovis advert music or the new world symphony as the more classical trained would call it but some of the hymns were hauntingly beautiful and worshipful such as O Jesus I have promised. On the music front the song Trapped by Bruce Springsteen has been in my mind because being on the dole feels like that at times, here is a link for those who like the Boss http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LesRFpv6pwU I have also been listening to Steve Earle just a shame his new CD I’ll never get of this world alive isn’t on spotify as buying a CDs just isn’t an option there are a few songs on youtube though! Music on itunes is just as expensive as buying a CD, what type of racket is that? Here is link to a song from Steve Earle, God is God http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-c7-A17IYzQ

I watched Of Gods and Men http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Of_Gods_and_Men_(film) which is a beautiful french film about trappist monks killed by Islamic fundamentalists in Algeria. It is slow moving and has no music but is well worth a viewing and the discernment process they go through about whether to stay or not is particularly moving. I watched Quadrophenia again the other night as it was on TV and didn’t enjoy it at all, it seemed hollow in comparison with Of Gods and Men.

On the reading front I have just finished reading The Spanish Civil War – Reaction, Revolution & Revenge by Paul Preston and wanted to cry at the end when Franco triumphed! I still have a bit of the romantic in me politically and the fall of the Spanish Republic is one of history’s great what ifs! On the theological front I have been reading The Wisdom Jesus by Cynthia Bourgeault and A New Harmony by John Philip Newell both good even if the Wisdom Jesus is a bit too “gnostic” for me drawing upon the gospel of Thomas and the likes.

The guitar playing is still coming along but the chords are getting harder and I need just to practice, practice, practice! I found our class really hard last night but like life and prayer you just have to keep going even when it feels like nothing is happening or moving!!! And on that encouraging note, go well, love Stu x

On Sunday at Bunyan Baptist Jodie led the worship and I preached and it was good to do a double act together for the first time! It felt very natural and Jodie did a good job especially with coordinating the worship with a live feed to the radio at 11am to share in the two minutes of silence at the Cenotaph. You can’t listen to the whole service online but you can get my sermon on Job if you fancy it http://www.bunyan.org.uk/node/369#attachments I feel very at home with the congregation now and find it a joy to preach to them and I did get very positive feedback which helps!

On Monday Jodie and I went to Coventry for a Bible Society course called H+ which is about helping people to make good sense of the Bible which isn’t always an easy task! It is a new 10 week course which has been piloted and will be released soon. We were being trained as potential facilitators of the course, we may do a course in Stevenage before going to Nicaragua but it was a useful process and we may be able to adapt some of the ideas in a Nicaraguan context. It was good to have a couple of days away from our flat where we can feel like prisoners at times as we spend so much time there being unemployed and skint! We went to Coventry cathedral and couldn’t afford the £7 entrance fee but went in for a prayer service at noon and had a quick look around, very quick! It was good to pray there in that beautiful space and I felt I really connected with God as I prayed about our finances and the next day I got 2 answers to prayer that I can’t mention as I don’t want to embarrass those involved but what I can say is that I was given some money by 2 different people just when I needed it as I was more than skint even slightly into the red! It is encouraging to see answers to prayer as it is hard being on the dole and skint!

On the job front I applied for a post office temp job online as it would be handy to have a bit of extra cash at Christmas to buy gifts etc but I don’t hold out too much hope but you never know!

On the book front I have just finished Broken Hearts & New Creations by James Alison, he isn’t the easiest to read but worth the effort, he engages with a range of issues including violence, the scapegoat mechanism of Rene Girard and human sexuality. I appreciate his honesty as there aren’t many catholic theologians who are open about being gay and reflect intelligently on that reality, most keep their heads down!

I enjoyed Rev last night on BBC2, I liked the honesty of his envy as regards to his talented curate, it made me laugh out loud! It was just a shame he didn’t go to Greenbelt with the free tickets he was given by her!

I am still plugging away with the guitar but didn’t practice too much last week being away for a few days but still enjoyed my lesson last night and still have the desire to keep persevering! I will never be a great player but I want to be able to play a few songs round a campfire!

Go well my cyber friends, Love Stu x

Nicaragua had presidential elections on Sunday and I have been keeping abreast of the results via the internet, both reading news sites and facebooking with Nicaraguan friends to get their personal opinions of the results and their fairness. Daniel Ortega won with about 62% which is a massive majority much higher than I thought it would be, but after having chatted with friends it seems the results were quite fair even though there were some irregularities. The opposition is crying foul and not accepting the results but it seems that Daniel Ortega and his government gained in popularity after putting their election campaign on hold and helping out those affected by the storms and floods. The people have noticed this and Ortega’s government has also benefitted from a deft management of the economy in difficult times and delivering social programmes benefitting the poor during his tenure. I think it was unwise even illegal changing the constitution to run for election again, but the people have looked at the opposition and decided that Ortega would do a better job. This is an ongoing story which is changing so I may say more next week. I am not uncritical of Ortega but think that he has done more for the poor than previous right wing liberal governments so on that count which is my primary barometer he deserves to be re-elected. That there probably wasn’t widespread fraud is a relief as that was a distinct possibility!

I am still plugging away with the guitar, last week’s lesson was hard and I felt like giving up at the end of it but this week was more enjoyable and I feel I am making some real if slow progress! This week we were given (I’m gonna be) 500 miles by the proclaimers so that made my night as I am a big fan! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3tNylJr7Z4

We enjoyed the fireworks on Saturday night in Fairlands park in Stevenage, they were very beautiful even if it was a bit cloudy and misty! It is a strange custom setting off fireworks to celebrate the foiling of the gunpowder plot, but we should be grateful for the democracy we have even if they are a miserable shower they are better than what many people have to put up with including Nicaraguans at times! We take our democracy too much for granted, look at Syria or Egypt for example!

2 years ago this week Jodie sent her first facebook message to me so we have been celebrating that with a tres leches cake (Nicaraguan sickly cake with evaporated cream and sugary icing!) and we had a thai curry and went to see The Help http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Help_(film) An excellent film, highly recommended, full of great courage. We also watched shall we dance with Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon and Jennifer Lopez which is a good soppy film about a middle aged man learning to dance, lessons in there for me with my salsa attempts!

I am preaching on Job on Sunday so have been reading up on that marvellous but difficult book, I re read On Job, God-talk and the suffering of the innocent by Gustavo Gutierrez the Peruvian liberation theologian and it was a joy to revisit that beautiful book. I have just started on a book on the Spanish civil war by Paul Preston, it is an time in history that has always interested me and I got it free from the library so why not when I have the time?!

There are other things I could say but will keep it shorter this week, you may prefer them that length! Go well love Stu x